Sunday, 6 November 2011

How to put your daughter on the stage, Mrs Worthington: Part 1a

All three of my small fry have inherited my love of all things theatrical, daahling.
Bobby got her first taste of treading the boards at the age of 3 when she was cast as one of two 'Heavenly Hosts' in the church nativity. This was a proper 'show', mainly adults, with real lights and everything, and not a tea towel in sight.

The show was on for two nights. On the first night, the other Heavenly Host (the director's small son) got stage fright and refused to go on, leaving all the Heavenly Host glory to Bobby. And boy, did she milk it!

The plan was that while the shepherds were watching their flocks by night, Gabriel would be on stage, but in darkness, with the Heavenly Host hiding behind her enormous satin wings. At the given cue, the lights would blaze, the Heavenly Host would spring forth from behind Gabriel's wings and lo! the skies would be filled with angels (or angel) saying, "Glory to God!" That was the plan. This is what actually happened:

The shepherds, as well as watching their flocks, were engaged in an 'entertaining'* and 'comic'** chitchat about wind. The audience, much to the shepherds' surprise, began laughing. The shepherds, already hammed out to the acting max, upped their theatrical game. The laughs increased.

Little did they know that in the background a small Heavenly Host hand was waving at the audience from behind Gabriel's wings. Laugh. The hand disappeared, then waved again from the other side. Laugh. Then a hand appeared from one wing, and a foot from the other in a bizarre Superman/Angel love-child fusion. Laugh.

On her cue to appear, Bobby got tangled up in the enormous satin wings. Gabriel, looking embarrassed (she was a teen), tried valiently to untangle her. Once freed, Bobby stomped to the front and literally ROARED, "Glory to God!!!" No wonder the poor shepherds reacted with fear and trembling. Would you want a pint sized, growling Heavenly Host jumping out at you on a dark night??

It was at this point that Bobby realised that her part wasn't all it was cracked up to be. In true Diva style, she refused point blank to leave the stage. Gabriel tried desperately to usher her off, whilst one of the stage hands stood in the wings and tried to coax her off with a bag of pink marshmallows.

The following night, the direction was amended...
Tune in tomorrow to find out what happened next!

Mama Jax

*Not really
**Definitely not!

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