Tuesday, 8 November 2011

How to put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington: Part 1b

Bobby on the second night
After Bobby's Diva-esque behaviour on the first night of the show, the director decided, wisely, that our small Heavenly Host was too much of a liability to be allowed to wait on stage. Instead she was to wait in the wings with Marshmallow Lady, who would nudge her on when it was time to 'appear'

Up to the point of Bobby's entrance, all had gone swimmingly. Mary's soul magnified the Lord, 3 Kings bore gifts and traversed afar, Shepherds watched flocks, inns had no room; it was everything a nativity should be.

Gabriel, safe in the knowledge that no small people were waving from behind her wings, shone with glory as only an Angel of Our Lord can. (Literally- the costume mistress had got a deal on a job lot of sequins. Most of the audience sported sunglasses.)

It was Bobby's big moment and she was poised like a greyhound in a trap. Unfortunately, Marshmallow Lady, instead of sticking to direction and just nudging, must have decided to 'big up' her part. At point of nudge, she whispered to Bobby, "Mind you don't trip over your dress." Bobby, freakishly obedient for once, grabbed her skirts, held them high over her head and streaked onto the stage in a blaze of gold costume and navy blue knickers. Her dress was held so high that she was unable to see where she was going, i.e. where to stop, the result being that she ran straight across the stage and off the other side. End of scene.

Gabriel and the shepherds shuffled off the stage awkwardly, like bewildered Telly Tubbies. There was no Heavenly Host in the sky that night, although to be fair they had been given the message only the night before...

Bobby, distressed at missing her big scene, was again mollified by marshmallows.
Hmm... Does anyone else think these antics may have been planned by a cunning Heavenly Host with a penchant for fluffy treats?

Today: The birth of Our Lord (rewritten by an 8 year old)
During my teaching practice I heard tell of a nativity where the innkeeper and Joseph both had a bit of a crush on the girl playing Mary. The boy playing Joseph was made up with himself- holding her hand, putting his arm around her and sneaking the odd kiss. Little did he suspect the evil plot brewing in the jealous innkeeper's mind...
Joseph: We-are-weary-travellers-and-my-wife-is-with-child-do-you-have-any-room-in-your-inn?
Jealous innkeeper: Mary can come in. You can b***er off!
Mary pulled in, door slammed in Joseph's face, and... Scene!

Mama Jax

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