Thursday, 3 November 2011

How to survive your gene pool: My Dad

I confess it now- I'm a daddy's girl! To me, there is no-one else in the world who comes even close. Even with the socks and sandals.

My dad, as well as being a master joker (see 'How to teach your kids to have a questioning mind'), is also the King of conspiracy theories. I don't mean the obvious ones, like 'Who is Prince Harry's dad?' or 'Elvis is alive and working in the chip shop'. Oh no, my dad's theories are much cleverer. In fact I'm surprised he hasn't been head hunted for MI5. Or maybe he has and he's just not been allowed to say...

My personal favourite of all his theories involves the Queen Mother. Cast your mind back to August/September 1997 when the media-created 'People's Princess' was tragically killed in Paris. There are a lot of conspiracy theories surrounding this 'accident', but none quite so plausible as my dad's.

My dad's theory is that the Queen Mother, by this time old and poorly, actually died at the same time or shortly after Diana. The royal family, knowing that their matriarch's death would be overshadowed by the media frenzy surrounding Diana's death, decided to keep the news to themselves until the hysteria had died down and Britain's upper lip was stiff once more. They estimated, erroneously, that this would take about 5 years.

With this end in mind, they hired Dame Thora Hird on a 5 year contract to pose as the Queen Mum's stunt double. You may scoff, but from that moment on YOU NEVER SAW THE TWO OF THEM TOGETHER! Co-incidence? I think not...

By 2002, after 5 years of playing the Queen Mother, Dame Thora's contract had come to an end. Her Majesty the Queen, aware that the furor over Diana had NOT died down, tried to engage Dame Thora in a further 5 year contract, but Dame Thora refused, forcing the royal family to announce the 'death' of the Queen Mum earlier than they would have wished. The announcement drew a respectable amount of media tributes, but nothing like the glory the Queen wished for her adored mother. This, obviously, annoyed the royals and wheels were set in motion.
Dame Thora died of a 'stroke' exactly a year after the announcement...

So, surviving my gene pool? Are you kidding?? With that amount of brilliance swimming around in it, I'm grabbing my tankini and jumping in!

Today: A Marilyn moment
"While tearing off a game off golf
I may make a play for the caddy
But when I do, I don't follow through
Cause my heart belongs to Daddy" x

Mama Jax

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